This season is my favorite. The cool, crisp mornings are a fresh reminder that new things are on the horizon. The world will go through the death of Winter to emerge with new life in the Spring. This year, the anticipation of things to come is more welcome than most years. Summer was odd for me. It was a time of experimenting with several different directions for the rest of 2018. Then, discovering how I want to spend my time, where my values lie, and how I can live out those values. This was not the plan coming into Summer, but I’m thankful my path led me this way.
In May, David and I had our third miscarriage. This loss was the precipice for the Summer to change. I took a step back from everything. Running, crocheting, gardening, cooking, baking, and another business were shelved. I gathered my family near, read a lot of books, and ate whatever I wanted. In the time of healing, God kept tugging on my heart that change was coming. I am beyond thankful that I felt His presence constantly through this miscarriage. He was leading me to consider what matters most, where I thought my identity laid, and how I was serving Him.
He led me straight back to Himself for my identity. See, I had lost the truth of my identity—that God has formed me into His daughter through my faith in Him. I had fallen into the world’s view that I have to make something of myself. That it is not enough for me to be a Stay At Home Mom—that there is no worth there. I believed that I HAD to make oodles of money to be considered valuable to my family. Those lies led me down a path I never intended to take—many wasted minutes chasing something of no worth. It took me until August to realize I was already right where God wanted me—living out my life and faith with David and Owen.
He led me to my family for what matters most. Behind God comes my family, and through God comes my family. This is the place God has created for me to dwell in today. Not an architect’s office. Not an amazing solo back packing trip. Not a classroom for a Master’s Degree. Not in an art studio. There is nothing wrong with living out your dreams, but there is something wrong with living outside of your current purpose. Those dreams may become a reality for me one day, but that day hasn’t arrived yet. Right now, it’s more important that I support David with his work, and build a foundation for Owen’s life.
He led me to serving my family, my friends, and my customers. The best part about this summer was joining she works His way. It’s an online community of business women who desire to run their businesses God’s way and not the world’s way. This group changed my whole outlook on High Desert Yarn, and another side business. Through these ladies, God reminded me of my heart for each business, what He has said about each business, and how each business affects my first calling—to be at home. Talk about a season of discovery! And conviction. At summer’s end, I made the decision to lay down the side business, because my reasons for running it were all about me. It had nothing to do with God, nothing to do with serving my family (in fact it took a lot away from them), and not a whole lot about serving others.
High Desert Yarn has been a part of my heart for many, many years. It’s the place where I am able to create, and love people through the items I make. It’s not about the money, or the amount of followers. It’s not about my influence, or reach. High Desert Yarn is a place of peace in my life, and I long for it bring goodness to everyone it touches. It’s all about bringing glory to God and a smile to someone’s face.
This Summer did not bring want I intended—camping every weekend with my family, many day trips to Sedona and Flagstaff, exponential business growth, and great meals on the table every night. But it brought me what I needed—clear vision, and a fresh start for the next season.
Here are a handful of pictures from one adventure my family and I were given this summer–a working trip to the North Rim of Grand Canyon.
Here’s to a new season! Of not knowing what’s around the corner, but knowing you’re exactly where God wants you.