I’m at the point in my life where I can say, “It’s only twelve miles, today.” What on earth have I gotten myself into!? Every time I add more miles to a run, I am more convinced that long distance runners are absolutely insane. But here I am, waking up to another long run day with more miles tacked on. I must be absolutely insane.
In case you didn’t catch it, I’m training for a marathon in December. The whole 26.2 miles of running. This is a decade long goal that I finally gathered the gumption to achieve this year. The end of January 2017 was coming to a close in a moment of culminated frustration with being only a mom. I threw on my hiking shoes, backed a bag with water and snacks, and heaven forbid if I made it all the way to Phantom Ranch. Ice one the trail? No big deal. I had crampons. That I had never used before. But I was going to hike. I was going to be alone. I was going to prove I was worthy of something great.
I never made it out that day. Instead, I blubbered out my thoughts and emotions while David patiently listened. You know what came out? I want to run a marathon. Nothing had come from my lips with more determination or passion in quite some time. After the thoughts and emotions settled, we all packed up (including the mutts) and set out to the park. When we came home, I started researching training plans. That’s how this crazy idea gained some traction.
I bring up my running.. habit? addiction? masochistic tendency? Because it is the link between my motherhood and High Desert Yarn. I could not be a long distance runner without being a mom first. Motherhood empowers and humbles me see myself, my marriage, my child, and my life for what it is–an ever-evolving joy, struggle, and challenge. Through running I realize that I can make my dreams come true. All it takes is a little more structure, hard work, and A LOT of leaning on my people. I did not have the courage to open my own business without becoming a long distance runner.
If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve probably seen posts about individual runs. Those posts are usually about a phenomenal, empowering run. We need more happy, positive, thankful, and joyful posts to social media. However, I don’t want this journey to seem like it’s all been snow cones and rainbows. It hasn’t. There have been a handful of long runs that stretched me emotionally and mentally the whole run. One morning last week I needed a 5 miler. Guess what, I could only run 3 of them. Regardless of the unmet goal for the day, I’m in this for the long haul.
My hope is that everything I learn through running will seep into the other areas of my life. There are days that raising a toddler strips my emotional and mental capacity. Those days do not mean I throw in the towel. I know those days are coming with my business. Running has made me better prepared for those days.
Find something you love and chase it. Even if it seems crazy, or it’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced. I bet that means there is great worth in it.